This is why a lot of queer men (especially DL guys, bi, and "trade") have such an aversion and hesitancy to engage with effeminate men. While they have a certain level of courage and fearlessness for wearing their sexuality so publicly without reticence (and I understand that some are completely unable to hide it, even if they wanted), the flip side is that there is often a lot of indiscretion. In addition, they often have the same disinclination towards being with someone who isn't a "total top". It all boils down as a recipe for DRAMA, often unnecessary and extremely messy.
this is a good take on it. presenting either masculine or feminine simply comes with different social repercussions. femininity is societally seen as inherently weaker, which is why it's usually more useful to talk about, but masculinity has it's own issues. men are encouraged to embrace masculine psychologies: dominance, resilience, impulsiveness... which works in most men's favor, but for people that fall into this structure that want to break it, suddenly they're fighting a lot of social conditioning and repercussions to reach a state that suits them, either caving to the pressure or pushing past it.